Looking Cool – I’ve Failed

Runner’s World recently published an article; seemingly aimed toward men, describing how to look cool while running.1 It came as a bit of a surprise to me. All these years of running and I never knew that there was a “look”. Reading over the work I learned I am far from looking cool when I run. I suspect my uncool running appearance crosses over to other sports like cycling, shooting, hunting and no doubt swimming.

In my naivety it never occurred that I should get ‘fixed-up’ to work out. The Runner’s World example of the man, appropriately attired for running in the magazine, is vastly different than my misconceived notion of work out attire.

I’m just not feeling it

The model male runner, per Runner’s World, is neat, clean, and wears expensive colorful clothing. His hair is done up and he wears a sweet little wrist bracelet. I fail on all accounts – not even close.

My shirts are worn out covers picked up from some race. My jackets, for cold weather, aren’t washed after every run, or for that matter every month. The jacket’s sleeves are littered with snot and none is newer than 6 years. I don’t ‘do up’ my hair. That makes no sense because I can cover it with a hat. I don’t own a bracelet. Even if I did the thing bouncing around on my wrist while running would drive me crazy (crazy being a matter of degree.) The only jewelry I wear is a wedding ring, a Crucifix and St. Christopher on the same chain, and a watch. I don’t always wear the watch.

The hat was a gift, the t-shirt a hand-me-down from my father. The sweat and snot all contributed by yours truly.

When it comes to cycling, I wear the same team kits I got, in some instances, a decade or more ago. My cycling outer winter gear follows the same rule of running gear when it comes to washings. I admit I never wear the same cycling shorts more than once without washing them.

When it comes to tournament shooting, if possible, I’ll wear some t-shirt in the summer. It is Africa hot in the Southern States and there’s no point in making myself less comfortable. If I must wear something with a collar, typically indoor tournaments, I’ll grab some old shirt that will pass official judgment by the most minimal standards. Because, I am unsponsored by anyone that supplies those bowling shirts so many archers wear I am free to express myself in more luxurious ways.

Looking sharp at the 2014 IBO World Championships. (Failed on the bowling shirt)

When it comes to hunting I’ve made very little investment into camo gear – one pair of camo cargo pants from Wal-Mart. Why bother with a lot of expense camo if you are hunting deer? They probably won’t see you unless you are in the open waving your arms. Deer can see colors and many camo pattern colors match what they see best.  Squint your eyes so that there is just enough of a slit to see through. Everything will be quite blurry. That’s how a deer sees. Deer are great as seeming movement. Remaining still and quiet are my top priorities when sitting in a tree stand.

I even fail at swimming dress. My ‘jammers’ (competitive swim trunks) are often worn out from the chlorine saturated pool water and all swim caps look stupid. I replace the jammers when I can push a finger through the fabric. Granted, by then they are thin – but, who is really looking?

Despite my failure finding a need to feel “pretty” or “fixed-up” to train, compete or hunt I gain a lot of pleasure from sports. You can rest assured I will never be that guy looking in the mirror to check himself out prior to a workout.


  1. Runner’s World, Nov 2015, page 34.



One thought on “Looking Cool – I’ve Failed”

  1. I look fine but does Runner’s World have any suggestions on sounding cool? I grunt, groan, hack, wheeze, fart and spit. And that’s just the first mile.

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